“How Can I Tell If My Son Or Daughter Is
Involved With Drugs Or Alcohol?”

• Moodiness, temper outbursts, changes in sleeping habit, changes in hobbies or other interests, becoming more secretive about activities, are all common behaviors in adolescents. This can make the question of drug or alcohol involvement difficult to answer.
  
• Try to keep in mind that although you may sometimes feel like you don't recognize the person standing in front of you, you still have intimate knowledge of the personality of your son or daughter. Try to notice patterns to the changes.
  
• Try to keep alert for other warning signs that your youth might be having problems that may or may not be substance-related, but that might require attention. Look for signs of depression or withdrawal. Is he doing well in school? Is she getting along with her friends? Is he taking part in sports or other school activities?  

Other Indicators Of Possible Involvement With Drugs or Alcohol:

• Changes in friends
  
• Borrowing money; can't explain loss of money or valuables
  
• Missing school or declining grades
  
• Mood swings, agitated
  
• Increased secrecy about possessions or activities
  
• Changes to eating or sleeping habits
  
• Use of incense, room deodorant or perfume to hide smoke or chemical odors
  
• Subtle changes in conversations with friends,
• e.g. more secretive, or using language that includes drug terminology or unfamiliar terms
  
• Evidence of drug paraphernalia such as pipes, rolling papers, baggies
  
• Evidence of use of inhalants (cooking spray, gasoline, kerosene, lighter fluid, model airplane glue); rags or small bags are sometimes used
  
• Bottles of eye drops or odor removing products such as Febreeze; may be used to mask bloodshot eyes or dilated pupils or to remove smell of substance from clothing
• Use of mouthwash of breath mints to cover up smell of alcohol
  
• Missing prescription drugs—especially narcotics and mood stabilizers

Information about specific drugs and how dependency may
develop is available from AY staff.

Please feel free to ask!

• AY offers a choice of programs to helps parents and youth in their goals, but it's important to keep in mind that change takes time.
  
• Youth often need to learn new skills or coping strategies to help them replace substance use with other options
  

• As with learning any new skill, it takes time, patience and commitment to become proficient.
  
• When it comes to substance use, change is often thought to have happened when a person no longer uses a drug or drinks in a way that previously caused them problems.
  
• Changes actually happens even earlier, when youth begin to feel they have the ability to make choices in their life — with substance use being one of these choices.
  
• Providing youth with information, alerting them to other options and providing opportunities to experiment with alternatives can motivate youth to make changes in their behavior.
  
• AY can assist parents in recognizing the smaller steps youth may be taking toward change.
  
• Recognizing and encouraging these small changes can help enable youth to continue taking steps toward a healthier lifestyle.

Would you like to learn more about how people come to make decisions ?
Ask AY staff for information on the “Stages of Change”.

• The discovery that your son or daughter is experimenting with alcohol or drugs can be devastating and evoke strong feelings such as anger, fear or guilt. Many — but not all — youth experiment with alcohol or other drugs and there are a variety of reasons why they do.
  
• When it comes to experimenting it is important to keep two things in mind:
  
  1.
  Experimentation does not mean your son or daughter is destined to have a substance use problem.
  
  2.
  You can use your influence as a parent to help prevent experimentation from possibly developing into problem use.

• Odds are, your youth already knows that you would be displeased in knowing that they are experimenting with alcohol or drugs. If you react adversely you lessen your chances of finding out the extent of their use, and therefore lessen your chances of helping them. It can be helpful to strive for a balance between expressing your disapproval toward the behaviour while attempting to support with any difficulties they may be having.
  
• If you suspect that a youth is using or experimenting with substances, you may need to change your approach. Changing your approach does not imply that you are “giving in”, or “accepting” that what they are doing as ok
  It is important to uphold family values, standards and rules—but it is also important to identify a problem—hopefully early on. Engaging in conversation with an open-mind and avoiding the appearance of being judgmental is vital. Open communication will make it easier for both yourself, and your youth to express your feelings and concerns and thereby begin to address the problems at hand.
  

Your likelihood of acquiring information decreases
if you use the following tactics:

Cornering them aggressively with evidence:
e.g. alcohol on breath, beer bottles in trash, rumors from friends.

Threatening as a means of gathering information:
e.g. “If I find out you are drinking, you won’t be let out of my sight until you graduate!”

Lecturing:
Try to remember back to your own youth, how did you respond to being lectured?
Kids are experts at tuning out boring verbal “noise”.

Absurd Fear implementation:
There is nothing wrong with helping youth understand the negative consequences of
substance use, but threats based on inaccurate information or exaggerated information are
going to make youth less likely to share what is going on.

Your likelihood of acquiring information increases is you use
the following tactics

Emphasis that your concern for their safety, rather than the importance of the rule:
Be sure youth understand that if they have been drinking and need any sort of
help to ensure safety (for example transportation), that it will be provided.

Recognize their ability to make decisions:
Although family rules are important to uphold, youth are more likely to adhere to boundaries
they feel they have some investment in. Be prepared to enter into compromise over some rules.

Express your understanding of some reasons youth experiment with substances:
This does not equate to condoning the behavior. It is simply to convey to youth that you
understand the obvious and are open to discussion with them.

Links to articles on the web: